Planning ahead before travelling or vacationing

submitted by Jason “Oz” Oszczakiewicz, Owner/Supervisor, Varcoe-Thomas Funeral Home of Doylestown, Inc.

When making travel arrangements, such as to a foreign country or on a cruise, there are endless details to arrange. We pack our clothes and essentials, update passports, coordinate care for children, pets or loved ones while we are away.

However, the one thing we tend to overlook is to make arrangements for what would happen if a death occurs while vacationing or travelling.

Over the years, I’ve encountered situations where someone has died while on a cruise or while vacationing in Italy or the Caribbean. And at these times, there is not only the stress of this sudden loss, but also dealing with foreign funeral homes, mortuaries or consulates to make the arrangements necessary to send a loved one back to the United States.

So what can be done to help everyone be better prepared in the event this occurs?

Before leaving, it is important to keep certified copies of birth and marriage certificates and photocopies of recent passports in a place where family members may gain access to them. Many consulates want originals or faxed copies of these documents before a funeral home or mortuary can send someone back to their home country or state.

This could save valuable time to gain clearance from a foreign consulate and book a flight for a loved one to return home.

Also, it is advisable to leave family members certain vital statistical information and items such as the travelers – date of birth, place of birth, social security number, parents names (including mother’s maiden name), educational level, occupation, preference for burial or cremation, and veteran information including discharge copies.

Other valuable information to be aware of is that each country or consulate also requires different regulations for shipping human remains, especially if someone died due to an infectious or contagious disease.  Also, know that travel insurance may cover some of the expenses, but many foreign firms want to be paid up front, which can also be stressful and expensive.

Having this knowledge and planning accordingly will be a great help and alleviate a lot of stress if anything unfortunate were to occur while travelling abroad or vacationing.

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Children: Funerals and Grief

submitted by  Jason “Oz” Oszczakiewicz, Owner/Supervisor, Varcoe-Thomas Funeral Home of Doylestown, Inc.

Maybe it is due in part to my upbringing and maybe in part to my profession, but I have noticed something has changed since I was a child. I have noticed that these days many adults cannot deal with funerals, visitations or death.

I can’t help but wonder if it maybe because of the way loss was introduced into their lives.

Were they sheltered as children? Did their parents leave them at home instead of allowing them to attend a funeral or memorial service?

Some parents believe they shelter their children from loss by leaving them at home. I feel that is ultimately a disservice to the child because when the child becomes an adult he/she is less able to process loss when someone close to them dies.

Sadly too, I have also noticed the result of parents having said things to children that shape and form their opinions in a negative way before the child even attends or visits a funeral, funeral home or memorial service. This past year I heard a child tell his mother that his Pop-Pop looked nice and he didn’t look anything like what his mother told him.

“Out of the mouths of babes.”

During an arrangement conference, I recommend to parents of young children that they explain they will be going to the funeral home and that a death has occurred. Keep any explanations brief and let the child form his/her own opinions, they will let you know exactly what they are feeling.

Never force a child to do anything that he/she does not want to do during this period. Remain calm and understanding for the child.

Further, I recommend that children be introduced to loss while attending a memorial service or visitation with an open casket of someone the child does not know such as a distant family member or parent friend.  This eases the child into understanding death in a setting less devastating than in the case of the loss of a family member or friend, where the child’s parents and loved ones are very upset.

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