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What fleas can teach you!

April 24, 2013 By

submitted by Solomon Brenner, author of “Black Belt Parenting” and Master Instructor for Action Karate

Ever wonder how people train fleas for a flea circus? Probably not, but the flea trainers actually have an important lesson to teach us about reaching our full potential.

You train fleas by putting them in a jar with a lid on top of it. Fleas jump, so initially they will jump and hit the lid of the jar over and over again. Eventually, they will stop hitting the lid.

They adjust the height at which they jump to prevent themselves from hitting the hard surface. You can then take the lid off the jar and the fleas won’t jump out. They have conditioned themselves to jump to a certain height, so they won’t ever jump higher than that.

People are the same way.

When we first start going after our goals or ambitions, life seems limitless. Along the way we hit roadblocks, fall down and drag ourselves back up again. We are susceptible to the negative influence of other people. Eventually we stop trying to jump quite so high.

The realm of possibility seems much smaller.

Creating these mental blocks for yourself (or letting them be created by others) cheats you of your true potential. The second you think, “I can’t,” it becomes true. If you don’t believe you can do something, there’s no way you’re even going to try, let alone succeed.

Instead of saying, “I can’t,” start thinking, “how can I?” You open yourself up to a whole new world of possibilities. By changing the terms of your thinking you might find another way to attain your goal.

Always explore more than one avenue. The mind is like a parachute: it only works if it’s open.

With the right mindset, you can jump out of the jar.

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Filed Under: Doylestown Observer Columnists, Home2 Tagged With: , , ,

Paying for care

April 24, 2013 By

submitted by Gregg Rackin, Care Plus More, www.careplusmore.com

“Long-term care” means the health and support services that we may need as we age or become disabled. Long-term care may include care provided in a person’s home, such as home health care, in-home companion care and household tasks. Long-term care may also be provided in a residential facility, such as a nursing home, assisted living or continuing care community. 

Many people believe that Medicare will cover the cost of nursing home care or home care. But it is important to know that Medicare and most private health insurance cover only limited, medically necessary care.

Only Long Term Care Insurance policies will assist with these expenses.

Medicare does not cover personal care – assistance with bathing, dressing, or supervision for patients with Alzheimer’s disease and so forth.


The National Clearinghouse for Long-Term Care (www.longtermcare.gov) offers information to help consumers plan ahead for future needs, select the right level of care, and locate resources. Information includes:

Planning ahead for long-term care includes understanding the financial resources that can help.

You can also check out benefitscheckup.org, which is a free service of the National Council on Aging (NCOA), a nonprofit service and advocacy organization in Washington, DC. This site asks questions to help identify benefits that could save you money.

After answering the questions, you will get a report created just for you that describes the programs you may get help from. You can apply for many of the programs online or you can print an application form.

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Filed Under: Doylestown Observer Columnists, Senior Scene Tagged With: , , , , ,

Families and disagreement over cremation arrangements

April 24, 2013 By

submitted by Jason “Oz” Oszczakiewicz, Owner/Supervisor, Varcoe-Thomas Funeral Home of Doylestown, Inc.

Today, families may have disagreements over having a loved one cremated or buried for final disposition. There are many instances of a parent or loved one that has not preplanned their arrangements and clearly stated in their Last Will and Testament that their wishes were to be cremated.

This can cause disagreements and rifts between families, since some members may have heard their loved one note their wishes about wanting to be cremated, but there is no written proof or evidence of their final wishes.

I often inform families when they preplan cremation arrangements that they inform their attorney to note it in a Last Will and Testament and they also sign their own cremation forms and fund their arrangements so they are paid in advanced and guaranteed into the future.

Family members may not only disagree when it comes to the disposition of assets for an estate, but they may also disagree on signing off on cremation authorizations to have a parent or loved one cremated.

This can be a major concern, because a court injunction may be required to intervene to have the cremation arrangements carried out as planned.  Most firms may require all children to sign off on authorizations if a parent passes due to the fact that all state laws are different when it comes to the degree of lineage.

Some states only require the signature of an executor/executrix, a funeral advocate (a person designated to carry out funeral arrangements) or the majority of signatures of all legal age children or surviving family members to carry out cremation arrangements. This means that three out of five children can sign off on cremation authorizations to carry out the wishes of a parent if the other children are not in agreement.

Therefore, I suggest parents or family members discuss their wishes with their children or family, state their wishes in a Will and preplan their arrangements so they can be informed of all the different forms of cremation arrangements that are available.

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Separation anxiety in early childhood

March 20, 2013 By

by Ron Seidman, VP/GM, A Child’s World ECE Centers

Whether you are going back to work after having a baby or just think it is time for your child to begin attending an early childhood program there are some things to consider regarding separation anxiety; not your child’s but rather yours.

The new experience of leaving your child with strangers is far more traumatic for the parent than for the child. I know this because of 20 years experience in the field of early childhood education and from having four children of my own. Even a trip to the hairdresser for my 13-year-old required a walk-in, not a dropoff, just to make sure everything was right.

Anxiety over the safety of our children is real and understandable. Children, on the other hand, do not harbor the same fears and anxieties. They are naturally more daring and inquisitive. I am sure you can think back to a time when you would do things and take risks that you would not do now.

Parents play a key role in their child’s smooth transition to this exciting socializing and learning experience. If the parents are freaked out there is a good chance the child will be as well. So true is the opposite. If the parents are calm and present this in a positive light, the child will see it that way as well. This is much healthier for the child.

Some parents will bring their children with them to tour the school. This is at the parent’s discretion. It is good to make an appointment and go at a time when children are engaged and not during a naptime or lunch.

While you will be tempted on the first day and maybe more to stay and see how your child fares in the new surroundings, the very best thing for your child is for you to say goodbye with a hug and a kiss and leave the room. You should be able to call the center during the day as well to see how things are going.

You will have an opportunity to peek in and speak with staff when you pick up. This will lessen your child’s anxiety and allow him/her to move into the class activity and socialize.

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Why do we mulch?

March 20, 2013 By

submitted by The Market at DelVal, www.themarketatdelval.com

Spring is here! Look around and you’ll see the first signs of spring everywhere, from the vibrant yellow daffodils, to the beautiful white pear trees in full bloom.

So if you haven’t already done so, it’s time to think about mulching your property.

Why do we mulch? The simple answer is that it makes our landscape more attractive.

But think about what “mulch” is.

Mulch is a protective soil covering used to help retain moisture, regulate soil temperature, prevent soil erosion, and inhibit weeds.

There are two categories of mulch: organic (products that decompose) such as shredded wood, leaves, compost, pine needles, and grass clippings; and inorganic (products that do not decompose) including stones, rubber, or landscape fabric.

The most commonly used mulches in our area are made from wood: Bark, Triple Shred, Black, Brown, or Red Dyed Mulch. Being organic in nature, these products decompose over time and add essential nutrients back into the soil. This type of mulch is made by grinding or “shredding” twigs, branches, and other wood debris. 

Mulch is sold in bulk or by the bag. Bulk mulch is sold by the “yard” which is short for a “cubic yard.” A cubic yard is 3’ by 3’ by 3’, or 27 cubic feet. One cubic yard of mulch will cover approximately 150 square feet at two inches thick, or approximately 100 square feet at three inches thick.  

How much mulch will you need for your yard? The most accurate way to know how many yards to order is to measure the square footage of the areas you plan to mulch. This isn’t always easy and may require an educated guess for first time buyers.

The type of mulch you use is a matter of personal preference. There is no “perfect mulch.”

Think about what you are trying to achieve. If your goal is to enhance the beauty of your landscape and you want the mulch to hold the same color most of the summer (and decompose more gradually) you probably want to use dyed mulch.

If you are more interested in adding the valuable nutrients that the mulch will provide to your soil as it decomposes, “triple shred” or “bark blend” may be right for you.

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Filed Under: Doylestown Observer Columnists, Spring Home & Garden 2 Tagged With: , , , ,

Divorce Q & A

March 20, 2013 By

submitted by Carla V. Risoldi, Risoldi Law Offices, LLC, www.risoldilawoffices.com

Q.  If I get divorced how can I divide my spouse’s pension?

A.  The portion of a defined benefit pension (i.e. a certain monthly amount at a certain retirement date) earned during the marriage and prior to separation is a marital asset. Also, increases due to passive market factors (not post-separation work) are also marital. Usually, pensions are handled one of two ways. Either the asset is valued by an actuary to determine a “present marital value” and then added into the marital estate like any other asset or the pension is divided by way of a special court order, called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (“QDRO”), which is done at the time of the divorce and which gives a certain percentage of the marital portion to the other spouse which is received at the time of retirement.

This is for general, informational purposes only. You should always consult with an attorney before making any important legal decisions were signing any legal document.

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The Purpose of an Obituary

February 19, 2013 By

submitted by Jason “Oz” Oszczakiewicz, Owner/Supervisor, Varcoe-Thomas Funeral Home of Doylestown, Inc.

Today, family members not only tell us of a loved who didn’t wish to have a memorial service or visitation, but that the decedent did not wish to have an obituary published.

Obituaries can range in price from a free notice in a town paper to several hundred dollars on average. The purpose of an obituary is not only to provide biographical information of a loved one who passed, but to tell an abbreviated story of a life once lived.

When families are concerned about cost I inform them that they can publish an abbreviated notice in a paper then publish a larger obituary on the funeral home website. Many funeral homes allow surviving family members to publish an obituary on their funeral home website as well as a photo or possibly a memorial video collage.

Funeral homes also allow friends and family members the opportunity to send e-mail condolences to the surviving family members, especially if they cannot attend funeral services or reside out of state. This provides comfort to many families and is an important way to notify friends and family if a loss occurred.

Families can e-mail a link to the funeral home website that provides information of a loved one who passed family members who are living or deceased for genealogy purposes, funeral information for visitation or memorial services, and contribution information for donations to be made to a charity in memory of the family member who passed.  Remember that families always have options and that funerals and obituaries are not only for the decedent, but also for the living family members.

Obituaries and on-line condolences give great comfort to family members to know that a loved one was appreciated and loved by their family and friends.

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Planning ahead before travelling or vacationing

December 11, 2012 By

submitted by Jason “Oz” Oszczakiewicz, Owner/Supervisor, Varcoe-Thomas Funeral Home of Doylestown, Inc.

When making travel arrangements, such as to a foreign country or on a cruise, there are endless details to arrange. We pack our clothes and essentials, update passports, coordinate care for children, pets or loved ones while we are away.

However, the one thing we tend to overlook is to make arrangements for what would happen if a death occurs while vacationing or travelling.

Over the years, I’ve encountered situations where someone has died while on a cruise or while vacationing in Italy or the Caribbean. And at these times, there is not only the stress of this sudden loss, but also dealing with foreign funeral homes, mortuaries or consulates to make the arrangements necessary to send a loved one back to the United States.

So what can be done to help everyone be better prepared in the event this occurs?

Before leaving, it is important to keep certified copies of birth and marriage certificates and photocopies of recent passports in a place where family members may gain access to them. Many consulates want originals or faxed copies of these documents before a funeral home or mortuary can send someone back to their home country or state.

This could save valuable time to gain clearance from a foreign consulate and book a flight for a loved one to return home.

Also, it is advisable to leave family members certain vital statistical information and items such as the travelers – date of birth, place of birth, social security number, parents names (including mother’s maiden name), educational level, occupation, preference for burial or cremation, and veteran information including discharge copies.

Other valuable information to be aware of is that each country or consulate also requires different regulations for shipping human remains, especially if someone died due to an infectious or contagious disease.  Also, know that travel insurance may cover some of the expenses, but many foreign firms want to be paid up front, which can also be stressful and expensive.

Having this knowledge and planning accordingly will be a great help and alleviate a lot of stress if anything unfortunate were to occur while travelling abroad or vacationing.

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Practicing discipline in a calm manner

December 11, 2012 By

submitted by Ron Seidman, VP/GM, A Child’s World Developmental Centers Centers

At the top of every school director’s list of desired professional development for staff is training on classroom management and how to discipline. The reason for this, as it is in most school environments, classroom management is paramount to a healthy learning environment.

Children act inappropriately for a variety of reasons, causing stress and tension for other students and staff. So what are the best proven methods for teachers to implement in the classroom as well as for parents to implement at home?

Before we talk about what works, let’s examine some of the past best practices of their time. It was not that long ago that giving a child a spanking was an acceptable practice for parents. Corporal punishment in schools was practiced. This could have been accompanied with a loud scolding.

Today we know that disciplining children with violence does not teach responsibility, it teaches violence. This also increases stress in our brains that releases chemicals that make it difficult for adults or children to respond appropriately, preventing the ability to take control of their actions.

It is too frequent that we hear teachers asking how they can control their students. However, rather than controlling students the most effective methods are teaching children to control themselves.

The Cognitive Responsibility System (CRSã) enables teachers and parents to teach children to calm themselves with fun, simple brain exercises. Once both adults and children are calm they are better able to focus on what everyone wants to accomplish, to focus on appropriate behaviors and to respond in more productive ways. Wouldn’t the ideal world be a world where everyone is able to actively remain in control?

These are the skills every school and educational system must develop in our students. Were we to develop in our students these necessary skills of intrinsic motivation, initiative, organizational and concentration ability as well as consistent finishing power all students would be better prepared to meet the challenges of a changing world for life-long success.

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The Significance of a service

November 6, 2012 By

submitted by Jason “Oz” Oszczakiewicz, Owner/Supervisor, Varcoe-Thomas Funeral Home of Doylestown, Inc.

When making arrangements for a traditional visitation or discussing cremation options, more families are telling funeral professionals that their parent did not wish to have a visitation or even a funeral or memorial service to celebrate or commemorate their life.

What families may not realize, however, is that the funeral or memorial service is not only for the deceased, but also for the living, and that 80% of the attendees arrive to pay their respects to the children or family members that are living and grieving.

Studies have shown that family members who choose not to have any form of a service or memorial, public or private, still tend to grieve after a five-year period. This can be directly attributed to the fact that family members never had the opportunity to say farewell or express their feelings at a public or private service.

Another consideration is when there has been a strain in a relationship prior to the death of the family member. The person may then still grieve because of guilt, denial, or from not having an opportunity to say goodbye or vent emotions when the decedent was in the room.

Visitation allows for a sense of closure and peace on a personal level for many people.

Today, there are many forms of funerals and memorials that can be arranged to take place at the funeral home, a church, cemetery, or a place of public accommodation. These can be public or private, large or small, and all allow family members and friends the opportunity to share thoughts, feelings, cherished memories, anecdotes, photographs and memorial DVD tributes in a public or private setting.

Many families over the years have mentioned to me that they were glad they decided to have a service and that it helped them through the grieving process. It was not only a comfort, but a tribute to their loved one where children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren all learned interesting facts and heard wonderful stories about their loved one who passed.

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